


History isn't Written by the Lovers but by the Winners

by victoriousscarf



Category: Lion in Winter
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 18:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/677503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriousscarf/pseuds/victoriousscarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>40 themes and variations of England's particular royal family... and Philip of France.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 96. Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Started this back in 2009 when I couldn't find almost any fanfiction for the Lion in Winter. I was using a table I found on a long since (so far as I know) defunct LJ community.
> 
> This was originally supposed to be 100 drabbles but honestly I wrote 40 and at 40 it will stay.

Philip hadn’t expected a letter a week after Richard left.

Even after two months, then three months, he still felt that the promised letter had just been delayed. When six months had passed, he took to pacing and accosting every courier from England. When finally a year had passed, he stopped even bothering.

A year and a half found him bitter, and even angry.

Then, two years later, a letter came for him from England. It was an invitation to Christmas with the Royal family, and meetings to discuss the future and Alais.

His hands trembled when he read it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original date June 2, 2009


	2. 13. Family

Geoffrey had expected Richard to come running to Philip’s room, of course he had.

He hadn’t expected the conversation that followed.

Glancing over at John, his brother’s face betrayed the fact he had no idea what was going on on the other side of the tapestry. But Geoffrey could read between the lines and the long pauses. He couldn’t decide if he was thrilled with this information (after all, it was another bargaining piece in his arsenal) or if he wished he’d never learned about it. 

But now that he knew it, he would use it.

It was his nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original date: June 2, 2009


	3. 13. Parents

“Eleanor,” Henry said. “Did you know about Philip and Richard?”

“What about them?” the queen asked from where she sat sprawled out.

“According to Philip,” Henry said, pacing the room. “They lay together.” He paused to look over at his wife. “You hardly look surprised.”

“Very little surprises me anymore, darling.”

Henry glared at her a moment. “But our son…”

“Our son? Which one? Has any of them not given us cause for disappointment? Why should Richard be any different?”

Again Henry paused and then sat down beside her. “Perhaps we can turn this into an advantage.”

“You silly goose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Date: June 3, 2009


	4. 92. Christmas

He hated Christmas. He had never enjoyed the holiday in the first place, but it had grown to a ridiculous hatred after last year.

Sometime he’d have to get over this, he reasoned as he watched the people around him laughing and lifting goblets to drink.

But it would take him a very long time.

Last year had gotten him nothing except heartache. That, and he’d only been mocked by a man he hated. (In some ways he came out ahead, but in every meaningful way, he’d lost.)

Fingers drumming on the table, he tried to smile.

It didn’t work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Date November 4, 2009


	5. 24. Lies

Do you love me?” Richard asked.

“Didn’t I already tell you no?” Philip said, his voice deceptively gentle.

“That doesn’t mean I believed you,” Richard replied, leaning his elbows on the table between them. Philip raised his eyebrows and leaned farther back in his seat.

“You ought to try that sometime.”

“Philip, no one should believe you. You’re too good at lying and playing people against each other.”

“So then, even if I did say yes, I loved you, by your own admission, you shouldn’t believe me.”

Richard leaned back and they stared at each other.

“No, I guess not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Date: November 4, 2009


	6. 85. Her

_“You got married.”_

_“Does that matter?”_

_“Doesn’t it?”_

When Richard had heard, he’d had to sit down. Philip was still so young, and so newly king, why the hell had he gotten married? Not only because he was young, Richard said silently, but also what about him? He lived in constant thought of Philip, but also the constant fear that Philip wouldn’t remember him—or wouldn’t care for him anymore.

Well, those fears had proved true, he thought, looking outside the tent flap, seeing his soldiers milling around. Some of them were laughing. He crumpled the letter in his fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Date November 5, 2009


	7. 25. Truths

_“You’re still a boy.”_

_“In some ways.”_

When Richard had seen Philip—King Philip, he reminded himself—for the first time in two years he barely recognized him. Philip would later ask him if he aged, and Richard had been too worried to answer  _yes_. He’d barely been able to reconcile his image of the boy and the king in front of him.

Philip held himself like a king now.

But, inside his own chambers, so much of that disappeared. Richard could see that boy again in flashes and remember why he’d wanted him so much. Why he still did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> November 5, 2009


	8. 12. Peace

“You’re never really going to be at peace are you?” Philip asked, smoothing the hair back from Richard’s forehead.

Richard shook his head. “I wouldn’t know how to even begin.”

Sighing, Philip ran a hand along the back of Richard’s head, flattening the hair as he went. “Do you ever think that’s our problem?”

“Are you at peace?” Richard looked up at Philip.

“I want to try it,” Philip replied. His hands stilled, cupping the back of Richard’s head. “I think the idea sounds rather nice.”

“It’s just an idea though,” Richard caught his wrists. “This is real.”

Philip smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> November 6, 2009


	9. 95. New Year

“Well, here’s to a new year then,” Philip slurred.

“You’re drunk,” Richard took the cup away from him.

“Don’t I have a right to be?” Philip asked, lolling against him. “In case it slipped your notice, we aren’t really winning.”

“We’re never really winning,” Richard muttered, steering the French King toward the bed.

“That’s true,” Philip said, suddenly serious and no longer sounding nearly as drunk. He stopped and stood up straight, as Richard continued on. “Richard, where did we go wrong this time?”

Richard just shrugged, not turning to look at Philip.

“Well,” Philip shrugged. “Happy New Year anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> November 6, 2009


	10. 77. Pants

“Richard, where are my pants?”

Richard turned to look back at the bed where Philip was lounging, taking up as much space as he pleased and looking far too content with himself. Richard couldn’t stop himself from grinning.

“Richard,” Philip said his lover’s name again, slight warning entering his voice.

“I was admiring the view,” Richard said, shuffling around the room. That statement only made Philip’s smirk more pronounced.

“You like the view then, I take?” Philip stretched his arms up over his head.

“Very much,” Richard admitted.

“Then find me my pants so you can see it again later.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> November 6, 2009


	11. 94. Independence

“My father’s finally gone now,” Richard said.

Philip tilted his head to one side. “Did you ever really think that was the problem?”

“The problem?” Richard tried to ask neutrally.

“Between us, I meant. You said that like you thought it was actually going to solve anything.”

Richard sighed and looked down at his hands, which he held clasped on the table in front of him. “It won’t, will it?”

Philip laughed. “This thing between us is between us. I used your father as a pawn, you tried to, but he never really mattered. Not to what is between  _us_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December 29, 2009


	12. 4. Politics

“Don’t judge me Richard, it’s not right of you to judge me.”

Richard slammed a fist into the table and Philip jumped in his seat. “Don’t judge you?” the English king snarled. “How could I do anything but judge you? Have you ever allowed me to do anything else?”

“Have I ever allowed you…?”

“You backstabbing, manipulative…”

Suddenly, Philip’s eyes hardened. “That’s what being a king is about Richard.”

Richard straightened his spine. “You could have at least pretended.”

“No, I couldn’t have,” Philip said, looking down at the parchment in front of him. “It’s just the ways things are.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> December 29, 2009


	13. 97. Writer's Choice Bitter

He was angry and bitter and felt that he deserved the right to be both.

He was a too young king whose rival was a too old king who had walked all over his father and somewhere in there between his father and  rival was his sister and a whole host of other ties and alliances that sometimes made sense and others did not.

Somewhere in that mess was the fact that he loved a man.

And that man was the son of his rival who was engaged to his sister who…

So yes, he felt he had the right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March 1, 2010


	14. 1. Beginnings

He was so young.

He was too damn young.

The first time he had meet Richard he hadn’t even fully known where to place his own feet let alone how to deal with the older, and more learned, and more experienced prince.

The first time they met though, considering the future they would have, was amazing anti-climatic. Philip had bowed, and Richard had bowed and they had parted ways and they had both been so young.

Sometimes, looking back Philip couldn’t believe it had started out that way.

It would be every meeting after that first one that would matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March 1, 2010


	15. 93. Thanksgiving

“We give thanks,” Philip mumbled along with the others in the church and couldn’t think of a single thing he wanted to give thanks for. Not even to God himself in his high heaven.

Because down where he was, he could only find the pain and the suffering and more and more often the blood and the stench of death. The Priest was still talking, and his ceremonial robes were just starting to feel heavier every moment.

He wasn’t sure what he was expected to do anymore.

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be thankful for.

He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March 14, 2010


	16. 37. Sound

Philip was a very composed type of person. There was hardly ever a moment he wasn’t in control or carefully composing his posture, his expressions, and his voice.

Perhaps that was why Richard enjoyed making him gasp and moan and otherwise make sounds that he never would when he was the king and in control.

Richard had always been the type to be upfront and give no damn for the consequences. No one could ever shut him up.

Perhaps that was why Philip enjoyed making him lose his voice in waves of pleasure and stall words of condemnation or anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March 29, 2010


	17. 84. Him

Him. Why did it always seem to come back to him?

His heart, his kingdom, his war, even his crusade all seemed to come back to that one man.  _Him_.

Philip didn’t much approve of complaining or whining or not taking responsibility for one’s actions, but Richard made him want to curse God, or even the gods if that meant Richard would be cursed. Every once and a while he thought he was over it, over him, only to have all his hopes and dreams dashed so cruelly the next time he saw him.

It didn’t look like it end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> March 29, 2010


	18. 91. Birthday

“It’s my birthday,” Philip murmured. “Shouldn’t I get what I want?” Richard barely responded, only raising an eyebrow.

“What is it that you want than?” he asked, not moving much from his sprawl over the chair.

Feeling more awkward than he was used to, Philip ran a hand across the fabric slung across the arm of his own seat.

“Because it can’t be me,” Richard continued, with a grin that didn’t reach his eyes. Philip shifted again.

“What if it is?”

Richard’s eyes widened and it would have been comical. If they had been anyone else, it would have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May 13, 2010


	19. 17. Blue

“You look good in blue,” a young Richard had once told a much younger Philip.

It was perhaps a little pathetic of him that Philip took such an offhand statement so to heart that he almost stopped wearing any other color. When Richard was older and they met again, he hoped Richard would notice. However, the other just breezed past him, and only rarely even bothered to look at him.

Philip took his fury out with icy precision. Because Richard wouldn’t even come to him unless he needed help. After that, he continued to wear blue, having internalized the color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May 31, 2010


	20. 82. You

“It’s not like you ever cared,” Richard muttered, not meeting Philip’s eyes.

Which perhaps was why he missed the fire in them. “How dare you?” Philip asked, voice level but tense with anger.

“You told me yourself,” Richard said, still not looking up. “You made it very clear.”

“You idiot,” Philip let his voice fall into a softer register. “I was angry at you.”

“Doesn’t change what you said,” Richard sulked.

Philip sat down beside him with a sigh. “It does though. You shouldn’t believe what I say.”

“Then how can I talk to you?”

“I don’t know,” Philip admitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 3, 2010


	21. 78. Paper

It seemed like there were yard and yards of paper between them.

Treaties, proclamations, and official decrees piled up between them. But most damning of all was the lack of paper they were faced with. Because there were no letters. The letters that might have saved them, might have damned them, never were sent. They both walked in Hell without meeting the other because there weren’t the right kinds of paper standing between them.

Even as Philip signed another decree, another letter to King Henry about his sister, it wasn’t the right piece of paper to sign. It never was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 7, 2010


	22. 86. Play

Philip felt like he was living in an elaborately staged play. Wear this, move your head this way, be aware of which utensil you’re holding and for god’s sake man, never let them know what you are really thinking.

He wondered idly if Richard ever felt that way. They certainly acted out scenes with each other all the time. Around Geoffrey he felt like he was always playing Chess, Henry a game of bluff, and he didn’t feel much around John at all. But with Richard he felt like the center piece in some melodrama that he’d never prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 14, 2010


	23. 39. Taste

Even hours later, Richard could still taste Philip’s skin on his tongue. He drank, he ate, he even tried spitting but it would not leave him alone. He wanted to turn around, walk back to the room Philip was staying in, trip him onto the bed, and curl up around him.

But it would be repetitive at this point to say things between them would never be that easy. Instead his senses lingered and teased him with the idea that he could reach out and Philip would be there. But he wondered if they would ever just touch each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> October 14, 2010


	24. 74. Nose

 “You have a very elegant nose,” Richard murmured, running a finger down the said feature. Philip arched his brows at him, unsure of whether to be complimented, amused, or slightly offended.   
  
“Of all the features on a human body, a nose?” he asked, though he didn’t move back. If he had been going the offended route, that might have been the best motion. Probably one of the others then.  
  
“Yes,” Richard replied, completely calm over it.   
  
Philip gave him a slightly suspicious look, which was only made worse when Richard leaned over and gently kissed the tip of his nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 13, 2011


	25. 48. Diamond

 Sometimes he figured the other was like a diamond—beautiful, yes. But also cold, harsh, and stronger than anything he would like to think about.  
  
There were days when he thought about trying to break the other, just to see if he could. Get past the cold glittering edges into the inside and just pull him apart. But then, not only would that destroy the beauty, but would also lose him the one treasure he thought he still cared about.  
  
But some days it was so cold, watching him glitter harshly from a distance, and he imagined things he shouldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 13, 2011


	26. 54. Air

There was air, and there was Philip. Sometimes it was hard for Richard to decide which one was more important to him.   
  
After all, air was just something you took for granted until it was gone… but no one could take Philip for granted. Didn’t that almost make him more precious? Though, Richard supposed he might be able to live without Philip, possibly even for a good long while.   
  
At least, he thought so.  
  
But sometimes, when he finally cornered Philip and was able to really kiss him, he couldn’t decide which was more important to him—air or Philip?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 13, 2011


	27. 23. Lovers

 “You’re not my lover,” Philip whispered softly, in the darkness.   
  
“Because I do not love you.”  
  
Richard turned his head slightly, though he couldn’t see the other at all anyway, it was so dark. “I’m not entirely sure that’s what matters,” he murmured. “That’s not what makes a lover or not.”  
  
“It should be.”  
  
“I’m sure you’re lying anyway.”  
  
“I do do that sometimes.”  
  
“You rather do.”  
  
They fell silent for a moment in the dark, and Richard could hear Philip breathing, feel his arm shift against his.  
  
“I still do not love you.”  
  
“I still do not believe you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 13, 2011


	28. 67. Running

 Philip would never do something as undignified as run, least of all from his feelings.  
  
He would, however, avoid.   
  
Even if it meant not meeting Richard’s eyes, or if it meant walking away even though he could hear the other king calling for him.   
  
What had ever made him think he could do this? Deal with the other looking at him like a kicked puppy, or deal with wanting to lean over and kiss the look off his face. That’s why he should not stay.   
  
That’s why he should, not run because he was too dignified for that, but avoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 13, 2011


	29. 36. Smell

 “You smell terrible,” Philip said, shoving Richard away. “At least do me the curtsey of bathing before you attempt to cling to me like a limpet.”  
  
Richard grinned, ignoring the other to nuzzle against him. “You’re always so noisy,” he said. “Complaining about everything…”  
  
“I am a king,” Philip informed him. “I expect the best.”

Richard chuckled. “You seemed happy enough with less than the best before.”  
  
Philip arched a brow at him. “Perhaps to you. But if I was alright with it, I probably thought it the best at the time.”  
  
Richard blinked, and leaned forward to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 13, 2011


	30. 26. Teachers

 “You taught me a lot, you know,” Richard remarked one day.  
  
Philip looked up, arching a brow. “I, taught you?” he murmured. “I’m certain I recall it the other way around.”  
  
Richard’s look was unimpressed. “Hardly. On certain topics,” Philip snorted, “Perhaps. But I’m sure I was never the one to teach you about betrayal.”  
  
“In some ways,” Philip replied, suddenly looking down again, his quill moving across the parchment before of him.  
  
“Is that all you can ever say?” Richard asked.   
  
“No,” Philip replied and didn’t elaborate.   
  
Richard sighed, and looked down as well, flicking a piece of lint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 27, 2011


	31. 11. War

 “Would you ever fight me?”  
  
“To the death.”  
  
“That’s not terribly romantic.”  
  
“Isn’t it? I would think dying together would be rather romantic.”  
  
“Only for morons or children, and would we die together?”  
  
“I could hardly imagine it any other way.”  
  
“Really? I certainly could. One of us would live to fight on and on, and die a bitter old man. Maybe it would be better to die young.”  
  
“I would hardly be a bitter old man.”  
  
“Wouldn’t you? I could see it. Sitting there, muttering to yourself and sharpening your sword.”  
  
“I don’t want to fight you.”  
  
“Then don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> February 27, 2011


	32. 16. Red

Red. He had always hated the color and most of what it stood for. Red for blood, red for the templar’s cross, and now they stood in a desert, where symbolically it stretched out for miles.   
  
It was a harsh, angry, violent color and he had never been sure what to do with it.   
  
Subtle shades, shades that could hide, those were his and he basked in them. But you could not miss red, bold, arrogant and brave red. It stood out and demanded attention.   
  
Maybe that’s why he couldn’t help but think of Richard every time he saw it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 9, 2011
> 
> Apparently my ability to use symbols and vagueness needed exercising.


	33. 28. Children

“We’re like children, playing with things we’ve never understood.”  
  
“God, Philip, are you always this bitter?”  
  
“Hadn’t you figured that out yet? I’d rather thought you would have.”  
  
“Maybe I dream you won’t be?”  
  
“You dream of changing me? That’s hardly romantic. You should love me for who I am, if you’re going to bother.”  
  
“You know I’m going to bother.”  
  
“And you’re still a fool for that. A child even.”  
  
“Come off that theme, Philip, neither of us are children. We haven’t been in a long time.  
  
“You liked me as a child.”  
  
“Philip… I like you more now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 9, 2011


	34. 63. Summer

Richard liked the summer. He enjoyed the feel of the sun, and the life that seemed to burst from the world as if from a thaw. Summer was also harsher than spring, with spring’s dainty flowers and mild temperatures. Summer though, that was the season that bore berries and when the entire world sometimes felt like it was on fire.   
  
He would one day see a desert, and realize it was almost always summer.   
  
But the reason he loved summer the most, was Philip, out in the sun, complaining about the light, reading a book, sunlight reflecting off his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 9, 2011


	35. 81. Sin

Richard ran his fingers lightly down Philip’s back. “This is a sin.”  
  
“Of course it is,” Philip murmured softly, shifting. “What else could it be?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
Philip stopped, and turned his head over his shoulder to look at the other. “Why bring it up now?” he asked. “You’ve already sinned, what is the point in mentioning the fact?”  
  
“I’m not sure I want you to be.”  
  
“I’ll always be a sin,” Philip replied softly, voice turning kinder then.   
  
Richard leaned forward to kiss his shoulder. “I wish you weren’t.”  
  
“If wishes were horses, we’d all ride like kings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> June 9, 2011


	36. 47. Heart

 Philip lay with his head on Richard’s chest, tapping on it.  
  
“What are you doing?” Richard asked, voice drowsy.  
  
“Counting your heartbeats,” Philip replied, no shame in his voice, finger still tapping.  
  
Richard’s brows rose. “That’s rather… romantic for you.”  
  
“I’m feeling rather maudlin tonight,” Philip replied, tilting his head on Richard’s chest to glance up at him.   
  
The larger man chuckled at that. “I can tell.”  
  
“It’s reassuring,” Philip said after several moments of silence. “That despite everything I can still feel your heartbeat,” and he tapped his finger a couple more times, making his point even more clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 3, 2011


	37. 69. Thunder

Occasionally, if he was feeling particularly poetic, Philip would spend his idle moments musing on all the analogies and metaphors he could imagine for Richard.   
  
His personal favorite was comparing Richard’s voice to the low rumble of thunder that sometimes was heard in the summer. Rich and booming, and commanding attention. Somehow it seemed apt for the larger man, who could appear and suddenly command that attention without actually speaking.   
  
But Philip most liked his voice when Richard was tired, and more likely to murmur, voice rumbling up from his chest. Perhaps it should not have made him feel safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> July 4, 2011


	38. 66. Walking

Sometimes, walking was hard.  
  
Keeping upright, back straight, chin held high for the entire world to see.  
  
When all he wanted to do was lie on the ground and curl around his stomach, head pressed against the earth. Be somewhere dark, somewhere safe.  
  
Kings were not given luxuries like weakness, however, and he played games too delicate to be anything else than perfect at every turn. He had lost before and could not do it again, would not do it again.  
  
So he kept walking, for a lack of any other choice.  
  
He would lie down when he was dead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 2, 2011


	39. 70. Storm

Richard couldn’t decide which was worse—the storm outside or the storm currently in Philip’s eyes.  
  
“We should be able to move on tomorrow,” he said quietly.  
  
“About time,” Philip snapped in reply, pacing across the tent, putting as much space between them as possible. Richard looked at the space between them and quietly mourned. “If we had to stay here much longer—” Philip cut off and shook his head.  
  
“Is it so bad?” Richard asked quietly.  
  
Philip turned cold eyes on him and that was his answer. The space remained between them, as it had the past years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 2, 2011


	40. 35. Senses

His world was a swirl of senses. As nobility, he got the best fabrics, the best food, and could afford the best perfumes. Only the best sights were reserved for him, though he had seen his share of horrors as well.  
  
The only thing Philip never got the best of was physical touch. There was no one to lovingly hold him or touch him without purpose or violence. He would almost like to think that that was why he fell so easily under Richard’s touch, why he went back for more.  
  
Wishing and liking to think never made it true. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 2, 2011


End file.
